Character
I’ve been laboring under the false belief that I’m fairly capable of understanding people. Oh…there are always some people who can fool you – people who project one thing, but eventually illustrate that they are something entirely different. But I thought, for the most part, that I was a pretty good judge of character. I’m beginning to suspect I have some shortcomings when it comes to judging character.
I tend to believe a person is what he or she claims to be. Because of that, I tend to overlook things that should be obvious. Here are the character types that tend to trip me up on a regular basis:
THE EGO
As much as I am annoyed by conceit, I can often be initially impressed by "The Ego." The Ego projects an air of superiority. I naively believe the person to indeed be superior in one way or another. My ex was an Ego. Egos are not fun to live with. Egos believe they are better than you and that you are fortunate to be in their presence. They feel entitled to get what they want and not particularly motivated to provide you with what you might want. An Ego will shut down an argument by matter-of-factly pointing out that you are lucky they bother to give you the time of day. My ex once informed me that I should be thankful that he didn’t sleep around because plenty of his college students had expressed an interest in “doing” him. How does one respond to that? “Gee, you suppose she might be willing to DO your laundry??”
JUST ME
The flip side of “The Ego” is “Just Me.” Just Me is unpretentious. Just Me can often fade into the background. Everyone knows Just Me, but no one really takes note. Just Me is unselfish, courteous and genuine and projects an air of being quietly available. Easy-going Just Me is often underappreciated by people like me.
THE ADVISOR
“The Advisor” projects an air of concern. He or she seems so genuine at first, telling you that you are a wonderful person, despite those mistakes which are causing you angst. The difference between the Advisor and the True Friend is that the Advisor only wants to advise you as long as you follow the advice. True Friends will stick by you, even when you crawl back to them admitting that you didn’t listen and are now worse off than you were before. The Advisor, on the other hand, will be offended and angry that you were foolish enough to ignore the plan he so carefully mapped out to deal with your issue. The Advisor considers it a personal affront. He will quickly write you off as hopeless and move on, looking for a new cause with an advisee more willing to do as instructed.
THE SERIOUS
The last character I’m going to address in this post is “The Serious”. Serious projects an air of being moral, trust-worthy and above reproach. Serious is offended by off-color humor or value systems which are not directly aligned with the ones he or she holds near. Serious puts limits on jocularity, sarcasm and humor, in an attempt to maintain a high level of relevancy in the communications process. Serious can cause others to experience a sense of guilt for failing to focus on the important and integral issues. Being with Serious can create an impression that the association indicates a desire for purposeful and important dialog and action. In actuality, associating with Serious is simply not very much fun.
I know it’s a little old for this old dog to be learning any new tricks, but I’m slowing beginning to see through the images these characters strive to project and witness the true nature of the person hiding beneath the carefully orchestrated image. Perhaps I’m finally becoming the good judge of character I used to mistakenly THINK I was.
Thanks Kira, my friend! Enjoy the family reunion!
IN KEEPING WITH SNAKE WEEK, MY FRIEND HAS POSTED THIS PHOTO AND SET OF PERSONAL FACTS IN A POST TITLED "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME". CHECK IT OUT!!
I tend to believe a person is what he or she claims to be. Because of that, I tend to overlook things that should be obvious. Here are the character types that tend to trip me up on a regular basis:
THE EGO
As much as I am annoyed by conceit, I can often be initially impressed by "The Ego." The Ego projects an air of superiority. I naively believe the person to indeed be superior in one way or another. My ex was an Ego. Egos are not fun to live with. Egos believe they are better than you and that you are fortunate to be in their presence. They feel entitled to get what they want and not particularly motivated to provide you with what you might want. An Ego will shut down an argument by matter-of-factly pointing out that you are lucky they bother to give you the time of day. My ex once informed me that I should be thankful that he didn’t sleep around because plenty of his college students had expressed an interest in “doing” him. How does one respond to that? “Gee, you suppose she might be willing to DO your laundry??”
JUST ME
The flip side of “The Ego” is “Just Me.” Just Me is unpretentious. Just Me can often fade into the background. Everyone knows Just Me, but no one really takes note. Just Me is unselfish, courteous and genuine and projects an air of being quietly available. Easy-going Just Me is often underappreciated by people like me.
THE ADVISOR
“The Advisor” projects an air of concern. He or she seems so genuine at first, telling you that you are a wonderful person, despite those mistakes which are causing you angst. The difference between the Advisor and the True Friend is that the Advisor only wants to advise you as long as you follow the advice. True Friends will stick by you, even when you crawl back to them admitting that you didn’t listen and are now worse off than you were before. The Advisor, on the other hand, will be offended and angry that you were foolish enough to ignore the plan he so carefully mapped out to deal with your issue. The Advisor considers it a personal affront. He will quickly write you off as hopeless and move on, looking for a new cause with an advisee more willing to do as instructed.
THE SERIOUS
The last character I’m going to address in this post is “The Serious”. Serious projects an air of being moral, trust-worthy and above reproach. Serious is offended by off-color humor or value systems which are not directly aligned with the ones he or she holds near. Serious puts limits on jocularity, sarcasm and humor, in an attempt to maintain a high level of relevancy in the communications process. Serious can cause others to experience a sense of guilt for failing to focus on the important and integral issues. Being with Serious can create an impression that the association indicates a desire for purposeful and important dialog and action. In actuality, associating with Serious is simply not very much fun.
I know it’s a little old for this old dog to be learning any new tricks, but I’m slowing beginning to see through the images these characters strive to project and witness the true nature of the person hiding beneath the carefully orchestrated image. Perhaps I’m finally becoming the good judge of character I used to mistakenly THINK I was.
Thanks Kira, my friend! Enjoy the family reunion!
IN KEEPING WITH SNAKE WEEK, MY FRIEND HAS POSTED THIS PHOTO AND SET OF PERSONAL FACTS IN A POST TITLED "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME". CHECK IT OUT!!
- HUNKY FIREMEN - HANDSOME SNAKE- HUNKY FIREMEN - HANDSOME SNAKE -
posted by WordWhiz at 7/02/2005
11 Comments:
My ego keeps growing. I can't help it, WW. Well, that's just me, I guess. This is an interesting post, but let me advise just a bit here. You left out my two favorites: Conniving and Manipulative. They are the cherry on whipped cream of bad apples.
I'm serious.
8:25 AM
Paul: Perhaps I will do another post to deal with the other types of less than stellar characters. Conniving...I'd like to think I could spot Conniving. Manipulative can often be difficult to spot. I can get sucked in by Needy too - not because Needy is so difficult to recognize, but just because I have that maternal instinct that wants to help poor Needy.
9:41 AM
Boy am I ever a combonation of all of these things...mostly advisor, but I don't get offened if you don't take my advice...(In your presense anyway!)
11:02 AM
You forgot one:
Chameleon. This person can be any one of the other types, depending upon the needs of his victim. Old Horsetail Snake is a classic example of this kind of back-stabber.
12:49 PM
Snake: I thought those chameleons changed their appearance. You know, like one day they'd look like Marilyn Monroe, the next day they'd be the spittin' image of Nefertiti, and a few days later you'd swear they resembled a cross between Robert Redford and Pierce Brosnan.
2:49 PM
I think I'm a "just me" trapped inside an "Ego's" body.
3:16 PM
Hermes: I can see that. By he way, you're my next Summer of Compliments victim. Be warned. I've already begun drafting the post. Once I've edited a few dozen more times, I'll post it!
:-)
4:13 PM
im a split personality between ego and serious and every now and then just me.lol
4:49 PM
What about "the dipshit?"
I know way too many of them. They act like they know everything, but when confronted with something they're doing wrong they simply can't understand why you're mad and they never learn from their mistakes.
6:33 PM
BS: Uh oh...that sounds a lot like ME! I think I'M the Dipshit!!
7:20 PM
Wordwhiz, these are great...thank you for posting this. They're good to look out for, and look for within us.
11:12 PM
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