Have we met before?
Now this is an AWESOME idea, and since he said I could borrow it (translation: STEAL it), I fully intend to do just that!
Please post a fictional memory you have about me in the comments. Click the link to see what I mean and where I got this great idea!
I can't wait to read about our past experiences together!!
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BLOGGERCON FOLKS - CHECK THE VEGAS SITE.
posted by WordWhiz at 1/03/2006
17 Comments:
Wordwhiz, I wrote all about metting my birth mom. If you will send me your email address, I will forward it to you.
tickletwo@hotmail.com
9:58 PM
I can't really follow your outline, because this isn't a fictional story. I just wanted to tell everyone about Montana (don't act like you don't remember).
WordWhiz and I have known each other for years. So when she called me to go camping with her and her "friends", I was on the road the next day. For those of you who don't know this, WordWhiz is quite the partier, so it was only a matter of moments before I would see something wild and crazy (just like when we were in Kenya... LOL)!
We met at the Flagg Ranch Resort near the south entrance of Yellowstone. All the tents were set up, along with a huge campfire before I arrived.
WordWhiz's "friends" (to this day I don't know why you couldn't be up front with me and tell me they were all members of a mariachi band???)had already started the "tequilla showdown." (Remember the rules? Me either.) WordWhiz was about to win, but when she saw me in my chaps (you always loved it when I wore them) her sombrero fell off and she had to eat the Mezcal worm (sorry... that got that you pretty messed up).
Well, the point of the story was what happened later that night. WordWhiz's "friends" pulled out there instruments and started playing (if you like El Mariachi check them out: Mariachi Viajeros De America... they're great!). That's when you ran into your tent and put on your folklorico dress(Remember what Severo and Omar did? Me either.). You started to dance the norteno. Abel caught on quick and started to play the norteno music. You were so amazing, stomping your heels and swinging your dress around (why didn't you ever tell me you could dance like that???). Anyway you were awesome... until you pasted out (those darn mezcal worms).
10:43 PM
"Sir," she said to me. "I couldn't help but overhear. Did you say your name is Paul?"
I tipped my hat. "Yes, ma'am, it is."
"Well..." She acted like she was about to blush, but she looked me right in the eye and said, "You know, sir...uh, Paul...just recently I had a real strong dream about meeting a nice man named Paul." She put her hand on my arm, twinkled her eye and added, "...and everything."
"Well, that's real nice," I told her. But I don't think you dreamed about meeting me, ma'am. Even though my name is Paul, I'm a married man."
"Oh, no, I don't think you are," she replied with a smile. "You're too nice."
8:00 AM
A few years back I remember eating breakfast at Polly's Pancake Parlor in Sugar Hill, New Hampshire when you and Paul happened to come in. (You were on a color tour, I believe)
I recognized you from your blog pictures and introduced myself and my sons (we were there to climb Mt. Washington). Shortly, a man wearing a Michigan sweatshirt arrived. It was ole Horsetail Snake. He was there doing research on pancake batters for his next blog.
Suddenly, a contingent of University of Michigan cheerleaders stumbled in, looking for directions to Oregon where the football team was playing the Ducks. Boy, had they taken a wrong turn. Hoss volunteered to drive them back to Oregon in his private bus. But we had to let the team know the cheerleaders were on their way and all phone service was out.
You had a cell phone, but no service. So we all had to climb Mt. Washington where we got service at the summit, it being the highest spot around. We called the football officials in Oregon, told them the cheerleaders were on their way, and everyone was happy.
12:25 PM
I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. It was at that greasy spoon when you were living in Tenn. I was traveling somewhere (I forget where) and was lost (as usual.) I stopped in at that greasy spoon to get some directions and grab some lunch. You were sitting at one end of the counter all by yourself. Much to your annoyance, I engaged you in conversation. I remember thinking, "If only... we both were single..." You confided in me later that you were thinking, "If only...he would leave me alone. He's kind of creepy."
I was persistent and we became friends anyway.
12:26 PM
I doubt that you remember me but I was a new member of that mariachi band Andy was remembering. One of the "friends". I was the one in a long purple dress and the big handle bar moustache. I was wearing dark glasses so I bet you wouldn't recognize me now, but I remember you! That slinkly little sequined number you were wearing really got Andy's interest. I liked your red hair too although something tells me it wasn't replicated down below!
1:15 PM
This is the best idea I've ever blatantly stolen for my blogsite!!
4:23 PM
Every time I think of you, which is a lot, it almost always is of the time we walked in the snow. Do you remember walking across the little bridge, and I said, "Are there trout in this stream?" And you said, "Yes, but you wouldn't hurt them would you?"
I said, because I respect your feelings, "I guess I just became a non-fisherman."
We walked back across the bridge, toeing little piles of snow out of our way, and got to the cabin.
And Paul said, "Did you enjoy your walk?"
7:21 PM
I remember as sure as it was yesterday having my car break down in Montana and bumping into the most amazing mariachi music and dancing I had ever seen (you and Andy make quite the cute couple. And the next day I bumped into you in town, and you looked fresh as a daisy. Despite the mescal worm. You were organizing a sixties/seventies dance party for the locals, and a local rancher was quite taken with you. Fortunately, before he and Andy came to blows, Renee popped onto the scene so that crisis was averted. I still remember you singing home on the range with your new admirer before being swept off to dance the two-step or some such by a rival of the rancher's, a handsome cowboy. While you were dancing, the other women (me included) ransacked you purse to see exactly what perfume you were wearing.
7:49 PM
Do you remember our first and only metting on the banks of Nowhere Creek in the Australian outback?
You had come to Australia on a reseach grant to study the location and ethnic background to the Paul Hogan film Crocodile Dundee, the fog is lifting from your memory now isn't it?.... No?
It was very hot that day at Nowhere Creek, and you asked if it was safe to swim there, somebody, I'm not sure who, threw a dog into the creek, it was immeadiately eaten by a crocodile that had been lurking there just waiting for lunch.
For some reason you lost interest in swimming at about that time, which saved me the trouble of explaing that swimming in Nowhere Creek was not a good idea.
Shortly after that your tour bus left for other exotic locations from the movie and I was left pondering all the things that might have been but never were.
No dogs or crocodiles were harmed in the writing of this story, the scene was digitaly enhanced in the studio of my demented mind.
I think I'm going to be the next pirate of this idea.
10:20 PM
Oh, man, Mandy! I have to say that my favorite moment with you makes me HOPE that Paul doesn't have access to this blog...because I don't think he ever found out what we did! haha! Remember when his dog--the virtuous bitch--went off to "play" with the neighborhood kids? And you made that bet with him that his dog was really pregnant because she was a little hussy? Well, a day or two later when we found out that the neighborhood kids really DID play with her and send her home, I came over to your house with a randy Australian Ridgeback, and you said, KIRA!!!! NO! I can't do this! And I said, awww Mandy, come on, it'll be great! And you refused, but then we sat around and drank wine while the Ridgeback tried to hump our legs, and after two bottles and a hell of a lot of giggling, I got Alex to drive us over in his mini to Paul's so we could sneak the excitable male dog near his bitch. Man, the only thing that made that journey over there tolerable was the wine and the company, sans dog! The freakin' Ridgeback took up the whole mini! haha! And then you and I, trying not to giggle too hard as Paul just lets his dog go out to do her business...and the Ridgeback jumping her in a heartbeat...oh, that was hilarious! The bitch looked so startled, then so happy that I told you...see? It's ok! We did her a favor! And we almost blew it by laughing too hard, but then Alex loaded us up and we drove home.
Those puppies are cute by the way!
10:50 PM
Good one, Kira!
10:59 PM
It was my first day in the office for my second ever job, as Deputy PA to a multi-millionaire media star.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
"Yes, Mr M", I said into what I hoped was the microphone of the very old-fashioned intercom.
"Can you come in here please, I have a little errand for you?" My boss was a mega famous songer/songwriter at the height of his popularity. I brushed the crumbs of my tie and walked into his oak-panelled and marble-floored office for the first time since my interview 4 weeks previously.
"Ah, Merkin. As you know, I am immensely rich and powerful and am accustomed to always getting my own way." He said this without inviting a response, so I just nodded.
"And as you probably also know, I have a network of CCTV cameras at knee height around the entire Lower Manhattan area." This I DIDN'T know, so I looked surprised but still said nothing.
"Recently, I've noticed the same gorgeous woman walk down 34th street every day at 10:25am, with a beautiful smile and a green 'Blog Ho' tee-shirt. Find her and bring her here. Do not fail." With that, and a dismissive wave of the hand, he swivelled his enormous leather chair so I couldn't see him. I silently padded out of the room.
And so, barely an hour later at 10:20am, I was standing at the location of the "BM Knee Cam" on 34th St (cunningly disguised as a sticker on a parking meter pole). And, as His Highness had predicted, exactly 5 minutes later this vision of loveliness sashayed down the sidewalk towards me, wearing a pearl necklace and a fetching designer 'Blog Ho' tee shirt.
I stepped into her path. "Excuse me, ma'am, can I have a word?"
"Why certainly. What can I do for you?" she replied. I was momentarily taken aback by her politeness and willing smile.
"You see, ma'am, I work for a very rich and powerful media star, and he is desperate to meet you." I went on and explained who my boss was, the fact that he was unaccustomed to failure, and that he had set his heart on me bringing her back with me.
"Well" she said, after I had finished. "That really is a compliment. And one day, maybe I'll take him up on his generous offer. But you see, I had a dream that my future soulmate was called Paul, not Bartholomew, and even though it's 1978 and he's not predicted to come into my life for another 27 years, I don't feel I can cheat on him, even in advance. But please thank your boss for his lovely words, and tell him from me that I'm sure he'll find someone better than me". With that, she started walking away.
"Wait", I shouted, running after her. "I don't even know your name. He'll KILL me". With a grin, she reached into her green 'Blog Ho' handbag and pulled out a business card, embossed with her name and photograph, but no telephone number or address. She smiled again and ambled away down the street.
When I returned to BM Incorporated and broke the news, handing over the card with a barely-hidden nervous shake, I did not get the angry outburst I was expecting.
"Wow. What a girl this 'Mandy' is. I like her style. In fact, I think I'll write a song about her". He stood up and wandered over to the grand piano in the corner of his office.
"Will that be all, Mr Manilow?"
"That'll be all. Thank you."
6:44 AM
Thanks everyone - especially Paul, for the idea. Merkin, I hope revealing that awesome story doesn't get you into any trouble with Mr. Manilow!! Priceless!
I just love you guys!!!
7:10 AM
Ah shucks. I don't worry about Barry Manilow any more since he sacked me for telling everyone I wrote Copacabana...
I've finally found a free copy of "Mandy" as well, as a .wav file. It's here. Maybe you should have it as the background music to your blog?!
11:07 AM
Merkin: I'd have to give you access to my site and have you do it. I'm not high-tech enough to figure out something like that!! I don't even own an MP3 player!!
5:37 PM
We've never actually met in person, but once you dialed a wrong number and reached me instead of Home Depot. I can see how it happened -- our numbers are so close. Boy I sure got an earful about dishwashers and cabinets that were the wrong size and no sink for your Christmas dinner! I was actually kind of amused, listening to your rant, so I let you go on for a while. When you finally calmed down enough that I could get a word in and explain that I wasn't Home Depot's customer service rep, you felt terrible! You bent over backwards apologizing and told me I was much nicer than those Home Depot people anyway. You thanked me for listening and said that at least the rant made you feel better. Always glad to be of service! You can rant to me anytime.
PS: This was fun! I've seen it around a few places in the last few weeks and I think I'll be stealing it for my own blog soon!
4:30 PM
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