Common Sense

I've received a number of offers to make guest appearances here on the WordWhiz blog. It's a good thing too, because I'm clearly running out of anything remotely interesting to say! If anyone else would care to volunteer to help improve the appeal of this sorry blog, speak right up!

Special note to my good friend, Hoss: You are way too good to me!!
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Obituary for Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

Common Sense selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults are in charge, not kids).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and "new math."But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies. Reports of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouth-wash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student took their toll. His condition declined further when schools required parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but prohibited them from informing the parent of a female student who was pregnant or wanting an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as Lifetime Values became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from school dress codes to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, "smart" guns, emancipated minors and cybersquatting.

Finally when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.