What Women Want
In his pre-Passion hit, Mel Gibson played a chauvinistic advertising executive who had never bothered to wonder what women want until finding his career hinging upon the ability to successfully market products to female buyers.
I went to watch this movie with four female coworkers. Early in the film, Mel is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He asks his reflection, with clear desperation in his voice, "What do women want?" To the movie audience of mostly 30-45 year old women, all focused on a half-naked Mel Gibson, the answer seemed obvious. "THAT! That's what women want!"
A male friend of mine, for whom I serve as crying shoulder and amateur counselor (remember, I'm so much better at GIVING advice than I am at living by it...) was recently whining to me about his many issues involving women. He ended his rant with an echo of Mel's question: "What do women want?"
Thinking it would make for an interesting survey question, and a helpful source of information for my male readers, I pose the question to you. (I'll add my comments too, but I'll let someone else get the ball rolling.)
So ladies, tell us: WHAT DO WOMEN WANT??
EDIT: No need to get really...uh...specific. I embarrass easily.
26 Comments:
Sar: Ahhh yes...COOKING. 'nuff said.
Top of my list: A really great kisser. No better feeling than a kiss that makes your insides turn to mush.
1:32 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
1:44 PM
Sar: Also on my list!! They say smell is one of the most powerful senses. My personal theory is that guys tend only to wear cologne to impress a girl early on. For that reason, women tend to subconsciously associate it with the exciting, early days of a dating relationship. For that reason, it causes an unexplained sense of arousal. That's my hokey theory...but all I really know is good-smelling guys are a turn-on!
1:46 PM
I want a guy who can sometimes just listen to my troubles, not try to solve them.
Someone who's ambitious but doesn't let work control his life, the kind of guy, like me, who tries to work long hours in favour of three-day weekends every week.
Someone who is open-minded sexually, who tries to learn new tricks to please me with, because god knows I continue learning new tricks to please them with.
A guy who's comfortable enough with his sexuality to take a bubblebath.
Someone who can appreciate fine wine, fine food, but has no pretensions and doesn't need a five-star restaurant to have a good night.
Culturally, he needs to dig my music and my films. He needs to know how to rock the shit out at a live gig. He has to have strong political values but keep his mouth shut about them, despite living by his beliefs.
And he needs to be as generous as I am, emotionally, physically, and financially.
And he needs to give me as much space as he's wanting me to provide him with. Don't fucking phone me when you know I'm out with friends. Don't get jealous when I hang with my guy friends.
And every now and then, let it just be about the sex.
And oral sex? You get what you give. You want head? So do I. Be concerned about my orgasms and yours will increase. Lots.
(Chicks, I can't recommend this book enough. The last blowjob I gave, I got a three-minute thank you. I do not exaggerate. "Sex Tips for Straight Ladies from a Gay Man." Trust me. Let the games begin.)
The Last Ditch.
1:58 PM
MODERATION:
Neither cheap nor big spender.
Neither clingy nor stand-offish.
Neither slob nor obsessive/compulsive.
Responsible, but with a sense of fun, adventure and humor.
Is any of this stuff ringing true for anyone else??
2:32 PM
ok well i know what want and its a man that can make me laugh and smile and who loves me for all my great qualities as well as my bad ones.like my really bad pms man hating attitude. i dont care about money but itd be nice if he had a job. and i want me to always come first unless its family. i want to be treasured and i want ltos of quality time with lots of fun outings. god i want it all!! lmao. but all i truly want is to love and to feel as loved as i love someone else. oh and a sensitive romantic kind of side would be great. but not too sappy. noone wants a wimp.
2:51 PM
All about the balance, Whiz.
Class but no pretensions, etc.
3:14 PM
Okay, I got the guy of my dreams...he ain't perfect, he's human. But he's sweet, easy to talk to, has dry sense of humour, is kind, dependable, highly intelligent, can talk politics, history, etc etc. I know it sounds boring, but I'm so happy with him.
So...WHAT do I want? Money.
My first book to get published.
I want my hand-crafted things to sell. I want to not be afraid of living in this little 3rd world country which every so often I fear will become like another Rwanda.
And I want my siblings who all live in 1st world countries, and my niece and nephews to all be happy.
3:51 PM
GREAT responses!
Jerzee...that was beautiful!! Being the religious sort, I'd have said, "...God and family." With that addition, I agree with your sentiments 100%.
4:06 PM
Amanda: Amen to the listening part!! We should be alike enough to understand how the other thinks and feels, but different enough to make it interesting.
Gosh girl, we're so easy to please! How come we're not having to beat them off with sticks?? ;-)
4:08 PM
I thought surely someone would say that what they wanted was that middle fireman in that picture in my clean car post!! Maybe Steve will chime in.
4:10 PM
Thank you for stopping by. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could be back serving along side the troops. My best wishes to your son, whom I envy and hold in high regard.
Semper Fi
5:05 PM
i want a guy who loves me as much as i love him. no more, no less. for me relationships are so much easier when the love is equal. when one person loves more than the other, so many other issues come into play.
(it has only happened to me one time, that i loved someone just as much as he loved me. it was the best relationship i have ever been in. outside circumstances (aka previous relationship baggage) caused us to end our relationship, but we are still real close friends. to this day i can still count on him 100%, no matter what.)
5:44 PM
Sandra - Great point and well put.
6:30 PM
MGF: I go for the slim type too. Always have been attracted to one of those "boy next door" types. (Does that saying translate?)
6:52 PM
Whizzer:
This is SO unfair. First time in history Ol' Hoss has been shut out of the commenting racket. Pish.
(But I'm sure learnin' a lot!)
6:58 PM
Gentlemen, are you all taking notes?
This is good stuff.
9:23 PM
Hermes: Glad you're finding useful information. Perhaps one of you GUYS will reciprocate for the edification of us single women.
10:01 PM
A mench
10:25 PM
1) Sense of Humor
2) Sense of self- nothing is more annoying than a guy who has no clue where the hell is going
3)Passionate about something
4) Creative- in bed & out
5) Honest
6) A good listener. A REAL Listener. Not just "uh huh...yeah...sure...sounds great..."
7) Honest(yeah I said it twice)
8) Appreciate's family- his and yours
And yeah...what everyone else said. :) But I already got the Hof!
10:39 AM
I want him to be my friend and my lover, a good father to my children. I want him to respect the fact that I'm a very ambitious woman, and he shouldn't not be threatened by that. I want to be able to do my own things - hang out with friends, etc., but of course, I want him to hang out with his friends too. So, we both have our own separate identities, but we have fun while we're together too. I don't care how much money he makes - I just want him to have a job that he enjoys doing (because if you don't enjoy your work, then you're not happy at home). I will be faithful to him, but I expect him to be faithful to me too. When I need to attend some kind of thing that men don't like to go to (weddings, reunions, etc.), I want him to come with me anyway. In return, I'll go to things with him that women don't like to go to. When I need someone to comfort me, I want him to do that. Women like to be comforted. In return, I'll boost his ego - men like that.
10:48 AM
Love your site Wordwhiz...I linked you on mine.
ladies you all made great points, but here's the deal:
I am an attractive guy in my early 30's. I am a great cook, I have an amazing personality and sense of humor, I am in shape, I am respectful, I am very much into pleasing a woman both in bed and out of bed, I go out of my way all the time to do nice things, many of which you all mentioned. Most of all, I am a nice guy who's not a pussy. I stand up for myself and challenge people when need be, just as I like to be challenged. The problem is I meet crazy women who lie, they tell you they want this and that and it turns out to be all lies. They tell you how they are, how great they are and then you find out 4 months later that they are untruthful. I attract wackos and married women or women with boyfriends....all of which don't tell me they are attached when we meet. I am a good guy who constantly pays for the actions of the last boyfriend who treated them like shit, or I get the line, "I don't deserve you, you are too good for me" those are the women with no self-esteem. Many women tend to make statements about what they want, then when they have it, they end up walking away because they are scared, not "ready" or are used to being treated like shit and can't handle a respectful and considerate man. That's our dilemma!
8:18 AM
all lies! women just want a pair of batteries that never die, a bed with 10 or more pillows, chocolate, and someone to complain to that offers no advice in return!
9:03 AM
Eek...McG! I assume wifey is the EXCEPTION to your comments! You are right about the advice piece, however. Sometimes we want advice. On those occasions, we'll ask for it. Sometimes, we just need to vent. Don't guys ever need to just vent??
10:14 AM
I once wrote out for Alex the top 50 things I loved most about him. I don't think you guys have the patience for me to list 'em all out, so I'll try to be briefer.
I want a guy who makes me laugh, who is kind hearted and nice but can be a bastard if somebody really deserves it (IE, has backbone). I want a smart man who can keep up on any conversation that comes into play. I want a man who values family and understands that the kids have to come first in most things. I want a man who likes romance and cuddling as much as wild nights of raunchy sex. I want a man who will consider my own feelings along with his when making a decision. I want a man who thinks that me, and only me, lights his fire.
Alex does fit all the requirements that I might have. However, what amuses me the most is that he occasionally frets about things I don't worry about! A favorite Alex line: "You deserve Alex, but a RICH Alex." LOL!
4:13 PM
What do women want? To quote Chris Rock... everything. :)
Does penis size really matter?
Only if the sex is bad. :)
5:00 PM
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