Miscommunication
Phone rings.
Mother picks up the phone and answers: Hello?
Daughter: Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Mother: You're going out?
Daughter: Yes.
Mother: With whom?
Daughter: With a friend.
Mother: I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.
Daughter: I didn't leave him. He left me!
Mother: You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter: I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?
Mother: I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.
Daughter: There are lots of things that you did and I don't.
Mother: What are you hinting at?
Daughter: Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.
Mother: You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?
Daughter: My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!
Mother: So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?
Daughter: He's not a loser.
Mother: A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.
Daughter: I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?
Mother: Poor children with such a mother.
Daughter: Such a what?
Mother: With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.
Daughter: ENOUGH!!!
Mother: Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!
Daughter: Now you're worried about the loser?
Mother: Ah, so you admit he's a loser. I spotted him immediately.
Daughter: Goodbye, mother.
Mother: Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing over the kids?
Daughter: I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!
Mother: If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
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Thanks to my buddy, Gene (Old Hoss), for being such a good sport and letting me amuse myself at his expense with my previous post. I love you, Gene!! We'll have to get together again soon!
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I think I mentioned that Paul leaves me sappy sweet messages on my cell phone voice mail every day. He had to go into work very early today and forgot to take his cell phone in the morning when he left home. He called his son and had him bring his phone to him so I wouldn't miss a lovey-dovey recorded message from my sweetie! (Boy, the invoice from Hermes' dentist going to be a WHOPPER!)
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And lastly, the blonde joke of the day:
Why do blondes have more fun?
ANSWER: They're easier to amuse.
posted by WordWhiz at 9/13/2005
20 Comments:
Well, see, not only did Paul want to give you the usual message, but he was probably worried you'd fret if suddenly he didn't leave you one on one day. That's a hell of a good man! I vote keep him ;)
9:02 PM
I always vote for keeping a good man!
:-)
9:08 PM
lmao at the blonde joke and the mother thing!!
9:21 PM
The joke actually listed Mother as "Jewish Mother" when I received it. But my mother wasn't Jewish and she was EXACTLY like this mother. Aren't they ALL??
9:23 PM
Wow, I was going to comment that it sounded like a Jewish mother. Not that I'm Jewish. A lot of comedians are Jewish, though. And the story sounds familiar.
So you're going leaf-peeping in the White Mountains? Sounds cool. For some reason, I thought you lived nearabouts the left coast with Hoss, Schnoodlepooh and the rest of that cast.
I'll be looking forward to the fall tour blog. If you get a chance, go to Sugar Hill and Polly's Pancake Parlor. Say hi to Trot Trot for me there. My mouse pad has a picture of Trot Trot on it.
9:53 PM
Loved the blonde joke! They never get old.
10:05 PM
Big Dave: Funny, yeah...it was Jewish Mother, but I didn't think the affiliation was necessary!
I live in Connecticut. I wish I lived closer to my buddy, Gene, but alas...
Hoss wrote all about Connecticut when he guest posted on my blog:
http://wordwhiz.blogspot.com/2005/08/connecticut-is-for-lovers.html
Ain't he awesome??
VBKIM: Being blonde, I know LOTS of blonde jokes. People feel obligated to tell them to me.
Hey...are you going to Vegas in April??
10:15 PM
Completely off topic - I was very touched by the comments that you posted elsewhere in response to the "gag reflex." I don't really have any true understanding of this, but I'm sure your support was appreciated.
12:49 AM
Hi!
6:37 AM
BG: Missed you! Hope you are well.
OE: Thanks. I emailed her. I have no true understanding of the specific problem myself, but the post really tugged at me and made me feel that I had to say somethingin an effort to help.
RJ: Yeah...it cracked me up! Sounded so familiar!!
Cowboy: Hi! How are ya doin??
6:44 AM
That was funny.Mother's! whew! (no offense Whiz) Someone once told me "Mothers! If it's not your's, it's someone else's [driving you cazy]"
8:06 AM
That didn't sound like my mother (thankfully,) but it sounded exactly like an in-law I once had.
8:13 AM
I couldn't even IMAGINE having a mother like that. I think I would leave the planet.
1:41 PM
Best blonde joke I've seen in a long time. Thanx for sharing.
4:08 PM
Didn't you post this mother thing a few months ago? I've heard it somewhere before, and I thought it was here.....hmmmm :-)
4:46 PM
That is a riotonius repartee between mother and daughter. How are you going to meet anybody, indeed, except when you do it's with a loser. What a rip.
5:12 PM
So I'm assuming daughter went and found a babysitter she had to PAY ;) Good job Mom!
6:25 PM
You writer a pretty good script.
7:31 PM
Bandit: No offense taken! Hey, I posted it!
Lejnd: Your mother never talked like this? I guess that means that, depsite how much we have in common, we are definitely not related!
Maggie: I hear ya!
Anonymous: Where would you go?
NWJR: I liked it too...and I'm blonde! (and easily amused, I will admit!)
Paige: Nope, wasn't me who posted this before.
Snake: HUGS!
Poopie: Clearly you're a mom who has been called upon to baby-sit. While I don't think it was meant to be the point of the joke, I did think it kind of rude that the daughter just seemed to ASSUME her mother would watch the kids.
Paul: No YOU'RE the script writer, remember? Gee, you and Hoss seem to have trouble keeping track of things! (Kidding!) I take no credit. This was just one of those funny things I received in my email and then shamelessly stole to use here.
6:33 AM
Every mother is a "Jewish" mother. It's just that Jewish kids are so good at describing them.
4:02 AM
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