My criminal record

New mothers rarely carry a purse. Loaded down with all sorts of necessary baby items, it becomes easier to throw everything into the omni-present diaper bag.

I ran a business from my home when my first child was born. It was a difficult balancing act, but it allowed me to be at home with him for the first year, even though it sometimes meant working very late into the night. I was often totally exhausted which caused my brain to be a bit cloudy.

One day, I had to run out to deliver something to a customer. The baby was napping and my husband at that time was home, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and ran out the door. Right in front of the client's office, I was pulled over by a police officer for an expired tag. He asked for my license. I reached in my purse and immediately realized that my wallet was back home in the diaper bag. He just gave me a warning about the expired tag (which I renewed soon after). He also gave me a slip of paper which he explained was not a ticket, but merely indicated that I did not have my license available for his inspection. It required me to stop by a motor vehicles office and show them my license, just to prove that I had one. Yeah, yeah...sure, sure.

I drove off and immediately forgot about the slip of paper. Besides, I didn't have time to go by the DMV just to show them my license. They KNEW I had a license. They issued it to me. What a silly requirement. I had more important things to do with my time.

A few weeks later, I got a piece of paper in the mail saying that my license had been suspended, due to my failure to appear on the issued summons. Apparently the "not a ticket" was a "summons to appear." Semantics!

When I found some time in my schedule, which may have been several more weeks later (I was a new mom and had a business to run), I grudgingly visited a DMV office to pay my stupid fine and get my license reinstated. What a hassle! I waited in the endless line, just so the woman could tell me that it was too late to reinstate the license there. I had to go to the police department and "bond out". Crap...another freakin' fine! More time wasted.

I drove to the police station and explained the situation. They told me that "bonding out" meant posting bail! There had been a bench warrant issued for my arrest for ignoring that blasted summons!! I'd have to pay $50.00 or go to jail. I didn't have $50 on me, so the cop graciously allowed me drive to an ATM, on my suspended driver's license, to get some money.

Upon my return with the cash, I discovered it was not as easy as simply handing over the money and walking out. I was under arrest. I had to be processed through the system first. That meant turning over my jewelry and personal property, being fingerprinted, having mug-shots taken. I'm not kidding. I stood in line behind some guy wearing leg-irons! It was very surreal.

Time clicked on. Someone offered to bring me some food, but I'd have to eat it in a jail cell, with the other criminals. No thanks, I'll pass. I couldn't believe what was happening. Was all this really necessary? All I'd done was rush out of the house without my perfectly valid driver's license in my possession. (And ignored a summons and a couple of follow-up letters. Hey, I was busy!!)

I finally made it through the system and had my personal effects returned to me. I had to take another day to go to the DMV and have my license reinstated. The cops had returned my suspended license, by the way. You'd think they'd have confiscated it. They let me drive myeself away from the station after posting my bond!

That was my first and last run-in with the law, but somewhere in Florida my mug-shots and fingerprints are on file! I know I need to keep clean because I'm already walking on thin ice. I am a past offender. I have a record.

So be sure you're nice to me. Don't leave me any nasty comments. I have connections, you know. I've been on the inside.
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RECOMMENDATION: Check out this story on Paul's blog. It's awesome.
http://writingfromthehip.blogspot.com/