Buddy

I’m hoping this will not come across as whiny. I mean it as an observation…although I suppose maybe there is a certain amount of whine involved.

Last night, I got a call from a guy I met on my cruise in January. He was seated next to me in the dining room and became my “supper spouse” for the vacation. I should probably mention that this was a VERY nice-looking guy, a year or two my senior. He was charming, well-dressed and attractive. We shared our dinners every night. During the day, he mostly chased 20-something bimbos. The last day of the cruise, he started complaining to my friend and me about how these sweet young things only seemed to want him around for his Sail-&-Sign card. “Buy me a drink, J__?” Well…DUH!! What did you think a 20-year-old Paris Hilton look-alike wanted a mid-40s guy for?? Yeah, I said he was good-looking – he was very good-looking. Remember, that description is coming from a 40-something female…not a 20-something bimbo. So, the last day of the trip, he hung out with us. The ship was docking the next morning, which was my birthday. My friend and our two dining room companions threw me a surprise party at dinner. They all brought gifts. They ordered champagne. It was FABULOUS!! After dinner we went to the show. J__ changed seats during the show, to sit next to me. He held my hand. We danced in the lounge. We walked on the deck and looked at the moonlight. He kissed me goodnight. And that's the end of the story. The shipped docked in the morning and we didn't see each other before disembarking. No harm done. No boundaries crossed. It was a nice evening. A few days after returning home, he called me on the phone. A week later, I got a Valentines Day card. He began talking about coming to visit, but weather in the northeast was horrible. By the time the weather improved, the glow of the cruise had worn off. He still calls occasionally – like last night. He’s a sweet guy. We live far away. I doubt he’ll ever really visit now. Clearly he’s not going to date me. But he likes to call and talk to me.

There’s another guy, let’s call him “Tennis Guy”. He’s someone I met on line…before my January cruise. We emailed a few times, and then I went on vacation. I returned; he went on vacation. Lunch dates were scheduled, then broken on one side or the other. It’s June fellow bloggers. I’ve NEVER met this guy face to face. I doubt I ever will at this point. But he still emails. I got an email from him this morning. Clearly he doesn’t want to DATE me. But he likes to email with me.

I could describe a couple similar situations, but you get the point.

I asked a male co-worker/friend today if I give off signals saying that I’m good “BUDDY” material. He kindly expressed his opinion that any guy who saw me in my “Shagadellic” retro-party dress probably isn’t viewing me as “buddy” material. (I know where I’m fishing for compliments from now on!!) He thought perhaps it is that I’m cheerful and approachable – easy to talk to. But apparently, I'm not so easy to ask out.

I guess it’s nice that guys like talking to me. Maybe that’s a bigger compliment than being a Paris Hilton, look-alike bimbo. I may not look as good in a bathing suit, but guys don’t get tired of me before the end of a seven-day cruise. It’s just that once in a while, I’d like to find a happy medium between being some eye-candy-bimbo and an approachable confidant.