Virtuous Bitch

I talked to my new male friend on the phone last night. He mentioned that his female dog was currently in heat. Nonetheless, he let her outside, unguarded, while getting ready for work yesterday morning. When he tried to get her back into the house, she was nowhere to be found. He called and searched for her. Fearing he'd be late for work, he had to leave.

When he returned in the afternoon, he expected to find her in her usual place on the porch. She wasn't there. He called. He whistled. He questioned the neighbors. No sign of her. Now he was beginning to worry.

He changed clothes and set off to look for her. When he opened the door, there she was. He's not sure where she spent the day. He speculated that she was likely down the road, visiting some neighbors with children. She loves children.

I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing. I told him to start preparing for puppies. "Oh no," he assured me, "she wouldn't do that."

Apparently, this animal possesses unusually high morals. She is not affected by her cycles or sexual urges. She has risen above such basic and primitive instincts. Besides, she's getting too old for that stuff.

Yeah...um, right.

I looked up the gestation period for dogs. It's 9 weeks. In a couple of months, one of us is going to be saying, "I told you so." I hope it's him and that his prized pet truly does have a remarkably virtuous character and would never be out...well...acting like a bitch in heat. Because if I'm the one saying, "I told you so," he's going to have a whole HANDFUL of dogs to take care of.

And NO, I do NOT want a puppy!!

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Special thanks to my good friend Tom…er…I mean…Lejnd, for guest posting on my blog yesterday. Have you noticed how much classier the place has become since I asked some really high-quality writers to display their talents here? It's like my blog has a whole new aura! Wow!