Call me naive

I'm a regular church-going Christian of the Protestant variety. I have fairly regular debates with a friend at work who is Catholic. Don't get me wrong...I'm not one of those Christians who believes the Catholic faith to be something OTHER than Christian. It’s just that I don't understand why so many people insist on calling themselves Catholic and grudgingly following church edicts and traditions that they quickly admit to considering a complete farce.

I certainly don't agree with every idea and belief that is preached at my own church. I don't honestly feel anyone can agree 100% with everything about their church unless they go out and found their own religion. While there may be one Catholic Church, there are many different Protestant churches. Lots of people, from Martin Luther to John Calvin, tried to rid the church of the greedy and self-serving priestly class of the day, in an effort to create a more spiritually pure religion.

For the most part, Protestants are simply not so rigid about what it takes to be considered faithful. Sure, Protestants have some traditions and religious rituals. The difference is that we are quite open about the fact that the rituals are just for show. Communion is a way of remembering and commemorating the last supper. There is nothing magical or spiritual about the bread or the wine. Baptism is just a public display, an indication of your chosen beliefs. (Or in some cases, the chosen beliefs an infant's parents hope to pass down to that child.) Not being baptized in no way condemns anyone. An individual's relationship with God is between that person and God. All that other stuff is just fluff.

And the relationship issue is something we take very seriously. As I'm always telling my Catholic friend, I would NEVER confess my sins to a priest. A priest is just a man. What right does he have to dole out punishment for my sins?? How presumptuous and cocky is that?? What makes him think that telling me to say three "Hail Mary's" makes me square with my maker? What makes him think he has a more direct line to the almighty than I have? I take my confessions, my praises, my requests and my gratitude and deliver them all direct - personally. I will never rely on a live priest or a dead saint to deliver MY important messages to MY God. Not a chance.

What incited today's rant?

My Catholic friend just became engaged. He has been married and divorced and has a six-year-old son who lives with him the majority of the time. His fiancée has never been married. Both are good Irish Catholics from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My friend grudgingly, but generously, supports his local parish. This generosity helped to provide a miraculous opening in the exclusive Catholic school where he wanted his child to attend. His continued generosity, as he is quick to explain, insures his child will still have that place next year.

Because his fiancée wants to get married in the church, in Ireland no less, this friend will pay what he calls an "honorarium" to the church, in order to be allowed to remarry in the church.

The Catholic Church doesn't recognize divorces granted by the state. Jesus said, "A man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery." The Catholic Church takes this idea very seriously.

Or does it?

I asked my friend, "If you pay the church to expunge your previous marriage, what does that make your son? Is he now illegitimate, given that you were never married to his mother in the eyes of your church?"

Now this friend has pretty strict standards, despite his willingness to throw money at whatever establishment he has to appease in order to get things done. He explained that he was very clear with his fiancée that he would not get an annulment for the very reason I suggested. He said that his "generosity" would allow the church to consider him more-or-less a widower, without the messy hassle of having to do away with his first wife. He didn't explain to me exactly how a religious institution could, for a fee, erase a previous marriage or - better still - declare the ex as good as dead! (How many of us have indulged in THAT fantasy at some point?)

My friend explains all these ins-and-outs of the Catholic Church to me with obvious distain, and yet he wouldn't even consider changing his church affiliation. For Catholics in New England, the faith is almost like Judaism to a Jew. It's more of a culture and a heritage than a faith. To me, that's just bizarre.

Equally bizarre is how little most Catholics know about their own religion (Kira being a noted exception). I visited an exhibit in Quebec depicting the twelve Stations of the Cross. I was curious about Veronica. I'd never heard of her before. Since we'd driven to Canada and I had a Bible in the car, I read every single verse describing the crucifixion. Veronica was nowhere. Returning to New England, I questioned my Catholic friends. Not ONE of them knew. I finally located her in one of the Gnostic Gospels - a very minor reference in a writing that was not even considered valid enough during the reign of Constantine to have been included in the Bible. And yet, there she was in the Twelve Stations of the Cross. And, because Mel Gibson is Catholic, she was also included in "The Passion of the Christ." But ask a Catholic where she's mentioned and they won't be able to tell you - although they will be absolutely certain that she's in there somewhere.

We're all a little too certain about what we THINK is in the Bible, aren't we? For instance, before you read "The DaVinci Code", had you ever wondered about Mary Magdalene? Curious by nature, I tried looking up a reference to her sinful life that was mentioned by the assistant pastor at our church once. I discovered that Mary is never described as a prostitute in the Bible. The only possible reference is one in which she declares that Jesus "freed her from her demons." That could mean anything. For some reason, who knows why, Mary has been depicted for centuries as a woman of low moral character who was reformed by Jesus. Forget the whole DaVinci Code conspiracy theory, there's simply no reason to believe that Mary ever turned tricks for a living.

Hmm...my intent was not to bash religion in general. I only meant to make an observation about how little has changed since the days when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of that church in Wittenberg.