...insert foot

I tend to say some of the dumbest things - in church of all places!

I was at a music practice last year, with the pastor’s daughter-in-law and another woman. The older woman got talking about having experienced early menopause, and was regaling us with the painful details of all the horrible symptoms which accompanied her premature change of life. I asked at what age this had happened and she responded with a year that was not far from my own age. Standing next to the pastor’s daughter-in-law, in the sanctuary, I said, “SHIT!”

I’d like to say that was an isolated incident, but it would be untrue.

Today, I was speaking with a friend whose divorce from her cheating husband is about to become final. I was offering her whatever help I could, knowing what a difficult and emotional time she’s experiencing. We noticed a group of teenagers in the row in front of us, laughing hysterically. When we looked up inquisitively, the mother of one of the kids explained that they had heard a report on the radio on the drive in, saying that research had shown that women who wear eye shadow are far more likely to contract sexually transmitted diseases than women who do not wear eye shadow. It seemed the teens found this report highly amusing. (Frankly, so did I.) Pondering this notion, my friend stated that she did not see a correlation. It seemed so obvious to me; I didn’t hesitate to blurt out that it clearly implied that slutty women wear eye shadow. Everyone looked shocked at what I thought was a blatantly obvious conclusion. Then the teenage daughter of the woman I’d been speaking with said, “I’m wearing eye shadow.”

Oh shit!