Advance Planning: A Worthless Exercise?

I don't like to use my blog to vent, but in this case, I'm making an exception. Copious amounts of venting are required to keep all this trapped steam from causing a major explosion!!

I will admit to being a little anal about planning my activities way in advance. My 2006 vacations have been booked for months. I have notations all over my calendar and I make follow-up phone calls and send email reminders to other people involved. While I may pay my bills whenever I find some spare time, my social events are carefully scheduled down to the most minute detail. Such is the life of this "party girl".

So...when Paul and I planned our Halloween party last month, I immediately contacted my ex to see if he could keep our 12-year-old son, PM, that night. Last year, as well as in most previous years, my ex has thrown a Halloween party of his own and he likes for PM to be at the party. Ex responded that he was combining party-hosting efforts with a couple friends and frequent guests of his traditional Halloween party and that the event was being held at their house this year. However, he still intended to take our son with him. Over the past few weeks, PM has spoken about the Halloween party with excitement.

Because I have experienced more than one occasion of my ex backing out of arrangements like this at the last minute, I sent him an email, purportedly to arrange the time of day I'd be dropping PM off next Saturday. His response?

Isn't [our 18-year-old daughter] going to be home if I can't take [PM]? Most likely I can still take him, but I never said I definitely would. I never make definite plans until 2-3 days in advance of anything, because I never know when I might have a date.

Owing to the fact that my ex is probably the single most self-centered individual I have ever known, this was not exactly a huge surprise. In fact, it's the reason I sent the email to begin with. I didn't want this dropped on me when it was too late to do anything about it. I was trying to force his hand.

I replied:

And naturally everyone else - [our son, our daughter,] me - should live our lives in limbo, controlled by the fleeting fancy of your social life. [PM] thinks he's going to the party with you. He's talked about it. But hell...a date is infinitely more important than whether or not [PM] might be disappointed. I totally understand.

Fuck you! Decide...TODAY.

If you're not taking [PM], I need to make other arrangements and I will NOT impose on someone last minute. Unlike you, I'm a little more considerate than that. I want to make arrangements as soon as possible, so I need to know BY TOMORROW!! If I don't hear from you by then, I'll assume I need to make an alternate plan. YOU can explain to [PM] why you're not taking him.

He didn't respond to my work email because the company filter would have bounced the message. I can spew forth obscenities from work, but I cannot receive them, not even if they are merely my own words tagging onto the end of a reply. He simply sent a note telling me to check my email at home and expressing that he was certain that Paul would not like the "real" me if he were to glimpse a peek. Those of you who know me are aware of how frequently I use obscenities! HA! I immediately forwarded the entire email exchange to Paul, while shaking with anger and looking for someplace to vent (before it occurred to me to vent here). I'll let you know how he feels about the "real me" in an upcoming post.

Guys...ever wonder why women often produce that exasperated growling sound, followed by the expletive, "MEN!" THIS is a prime example!