Silver Lining

A post by my friend, Kira, prompted me to address this subject. It’s something I’ve been thinking about recently, as I find myself living under the proverbial silver-lined cloud.

Back when I started this blog (April 2005), I felt like I was living under a dark cloud. Things just never seemed to go my way. What I longed for eluded me and situations in my life always seemed to resolve themselves in precisely the opposite way I’d hoped for. I prayed - a lot - but felt that God wasn’t listening to me, or worse, He was punishing me for past mistakes. It became harder and harder to count my blessings, although I was always aware that I had many. When things are going badly, our misfortune tends to over-shadow our GOOD fortune.

What has changed? Most of the things I count as blessings were there in the dark days. My health, my kids, my ability to earn a decent living which in turn allows me to own a nice (albeit small) and comfortable house in a lovely little town, my friends, my church…all these are among my blessings.

Perhaps it’s all a matter of perspective. Being a divorced woman in her 40s means that most of my friends are married or at least in relationships. While I didn’t mind being on my own after my divorce, I had difficulty dealing with the loneliness. Being a single mother left me limited time for socializing. My friends seemed to have little time to devote to a third wheel, preferring to spend their free time with significant others or family. I frequently found myself bored and alone.

Since Paul has come into my life, I’m no longer lonely. But beyond this, stuff just seems to be going my way. Just when I was developing serious concerns about financial issues, my late parents’ home sold, earning me a much-needed windfall. The CEO at my company reported last week that we hit our 2005 numbers, allowing the maximum pay-out on our employee incentive package – another financial windfall! Even little things seem to be going my way. This holiday season, I did most of my shopping on-line. The Friday before Christmas, an important gift had not yet arrived. Somehow, I just knew it would get there on Saturday, Christmas eve. It did. Even the small and fairly insignificant situations in my life all seem to resolve themselves in a positive way lately – thanks to that silver-lined cloud.

Have atmospheric conditions overhead really changed, or is it merely my perspective? Are situations being positively influenced by a mythical cloud, or is it the result of a positive attitude? I recently applied for a job that seemed ideal for me, but I didn’t get it. Six months ago, I might have viewed that as evidence of my seemingly cursed existence. Today, I assume it wasn’t meant to be and that the truly ideal situation will come along. It has to! The cloud with the silver lining never disappoints!