Sheer terror

My oldest son arrived home on Sunday, on leave from the army for a week and a half. Yesterday was his 21st birthday, so I planned a party at Dave & Busters. He is hugely into video games and Dave & Busters is a combination restaurant/game arcade. There were nine of us there in all, including his sister (C), brother (PacMan) and his father (my ex).

After dinner, I stayed behind to settle the bill while the others went off to play games. I caught up with PacMan and his Dad at a boxing game. Between rounds, PacMan looked off to the side at a wall screens featuring race track images. It was over a set of virtual race cars. It became clear that PacMan (age 12) was zoning out and didn't hear us speaking. I touched his face, thinking he'd snap out of it. He didn't. His dad grabbed him from behind, attempting to turn him away from the screens that seemed to be mesmerizing him. PacMan's head flew back and he began to go into a seizure. His dad lowered him to the floor and I ran to the bar, screaming for an ambulance. I have no clear recollection of time. A nice man who came by to help - even stopping by the hospital later that night to check on PacMan's condition - told us that the seizure lasted about four minutes. My dog is epileptic, so I have witnessed seizures. It's far different when it's your child, rather than you pet. Also, my beagle has never once become unconscious following a seizure. PacMan was was completely out, pale with his mouth open. I thought he was going to die. I think at one point, I thought he was dead. I remember in my hysteria, someone taking my hand and pressing it to PacMan's chest saying, "Feel his heartbeat. He has a good strong heartbeat."

PacMan remained unconscious for 10-15 minutes, coming to just as the EMTs arrived. He was still groggy and not really responsive, but he showed some signs of being aware. He has no memory of any of this. A CAT scan revealed no brain injuries. He'll have to return to the hospital for a brain EEG. He's very afraid of it happening again. He slept in my room last night, afraid to be alone. I was glad. I'd have been up checking on him all night anyway. We're not sure what caused it and still face all sorts of tests, but the worst is over. I've never felt so afraid that one of my children was about to die. There's no describing that feeling of horror and helplessness. I never want to witness anything like that again!